The beauty of Christ being the head of the church has been lost. Imagine! Christ gave himself for the church. There is abundant grace in those words. There is love. There is meaning for our lives. There is a reason to learn about and feast upon the Word of God. There is a reason for becoming a pastor. There is a reason to teach children about Jesus. There is a reason to give money and hours of service to a church. There is a reason to get up and go to church every Sunday. There is a reason to feed the hungry and minister to others. There is a reason for dedicating your life to the service of God. Christ is head! Shout it out. Our reason for doing these things is for Christ!
Jesus gave his life for those who make up the church body. Christ is the head of women, too, and not as a secondary head, sharing headship with husbands. Paul said “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal” (1 Corinthians 13:1). Ephesians chapters one through four are also “love” chapters—the love Christ has for the church which includes both men and women. It is not love that demands female submission to males, and it cannot be prettied up enough to make it so.
The joy of both men and women submitting to Christ for what he has done has been stolen from Him. Concentrating on wives submitting to their husbands has obscured the real message.
Male headship distorts marriage, misrepresents salvation for women, creates enmity between the genders, and divides the entire body of Christ.
(End of series. Read more in my book Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood)
This Sunday, December 1, 2024, Advent begins. Rejoice in this season of expectation of the Christ who told us to love our neighbor as ourselves. The Christ who gave women the Good News that the Messiah who they had hoped for, had now arrived.
See Shirley Taylor in Baptizing Feminism Documentary Trailer.
Books by Shirley Taylor available in Print and Kindle on Amazon
The Biblical Marriage Myth: The Devil Comes Calling The Power of a Book: The Street Evangelist From Wife to Widow: What I know Now Beyond the Grave: A Christian Dilemma Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source Dethroning Male Headship: 2nd Edition
Because so many denominations and pastors have accepted complementarianism, marriage roles have become an overriding theme and even focal point of Christianity, diminishing the gospel of Christ.
The family has taken on a much larger priority in doctrine than it has for 2000 years. Christianity is now focused on the family and is swamped with male headship conferences, books on male leadership, and blogs that promote the gloriousness of “joyful” wifely submission.
Marriages are important, but they are not specifically important to the gospel. The entire body of Christ is important to the gospel. In reality, a marriage is a unit that produces and nurtures children, but has little function to the outside world.
The church body, on the other hand, has a major responsibility to the outside world. A husband ruling over his wife and children does not reflect the gospel. It is the body of Christ that reflects the intent of the gospel by looking outward to the world through teaching and ministries.
The body of Christ demonstrates the love of God
The body of Christ demonstrates the love of God through its actions: feeding the hungry, caring for the ill, loving our neighbor, proclaiming salvation, and showing justice. This is the way the church functions as the body of Christ.
The church is to be the presence of Christ. “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues” (1 Corinthians 12:27-28). The body of Christ serves God through being filled with God’s spirit and using the gifts the Spirit gives to each Christian.
Instead of focusing on outreach, complementarian teaching focuses churches inwardly on man-decreed gender and marriage roles. This weakens the whole body of Christ, because it has become divided into male and female sections.
When the church, the body of Christ, is divided, it cannot reflect Christ’s relationship to the church. Jesus said that if a house is divided against itself, it cannot stand (Mark 3:25). A marriage that has specific roles for each spouse to play is divided against itself; they are not working in partnership, nor are they working within their gifting. Male headship distorts marriage, misrepresents salvation for women, creates enmity between the genders, and divides the entire body of Christ.
See Shirley Taylor in Baptizing Feminism Documentary Trailer.
Books by Shirley Taylor available in Print and Kindle on Amazon
The Biblical Marriage Myth: The Devil Comes Calling The Power of a Book: The Street Evangelist From Wife to Widow: What I know Now Beyond the Grave: A Christian Dilemma Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source Dethroning Male Headship: 2nd Edition
Male headship is contrary to everything Jesus said
In fact, male headship is contrary to everything Jesus said. The apostle Paul recognized this in his letter to the Galatians (3:26-28) where he wrote, “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ.”
Therefore, we are presented with three scriptural challenges to the doctrine of men being the heads of women: 1) It is contrary to Jesus’ teaching and actions; 2) it makes men the vicars of Christ on earth if men are the head of women; 3) it removes Christ from headship over women; otherwise you have to believe that it takes two—one divine God and one earthly god—to be the head of one woman.
Complementarian teaching has harmed the Gospel
Scriptures used to support complementarian teaching have been studied and explained, and the meanings, it seems, depends upon who is speaking at the moment. One theologian says this and another says something else entirely different. This has distorted Jesus in the process, and has elevated marriage into something it was never intended to be. These scriptures have caused as much hurt and unhappiness as any other scriptures in the Bible, all because of the demand for a complementarian interpretation of what Paul is saying.
Pastors, bloggers, and theologians have produced untold words describing how women are to submit and behave. Seminary professors have taught courses, and books have been written on the subject of the subordination of women. Careers have been built upon it. This does not glorify God. This does not build up the body of Christ.
Teaching that women must submit to their husbands, without taking into consideration how the culture of that day impacted what methods Paul used to teach about God, does not do anything to further the gospel. Instead, this teaching has harmed the gospel, just as it has harmed women.
These new Christians wanted to understand who Jesus was. While explaining how Christ was the head of the church, and thus the head of the new Christians, Paul said in effect “the best way I can think of is to compare it to your marriage.” That is clear in Ephesians 5:32 when Paul says “This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church,” meaning that instead of it actually being a human marriage he is referring to, it is the relationship that Christ has with the church that he is talking about. That is a far cry from Paul making a human marriage the focus.
Then Paul says that even though he is talking about the church, their marriages are important too. “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” The Common English Bible translates it this way, “Marriage is a significant allegory, and I’m applying it to Christ and the church. In any case, as for you individually, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and wives should respect their husbands.”
Is the husband the head of the wife like Christ is head of the church?
However, some will still say “I believe that the husband is the head of the wife like Christ is the head of the church.” Paul says exactly that in Ephesians 5:23. We do not know what Paul or the translators meant when they said those words. We do know that Jesus’ sacrificial death and resurrection made him head of the church. Complementarian husbands become heads of their wives at their wedding ceremonies with comparatively little sacrifice. The two are so dissimilar, with Christ giving his life while a husband obtains a wife, that it appears sacrilegious to make that comparison.
It is more probable that Paul meant for the Ephesians to look at their own families where the husbands were already the heads, and then think of Jesus as being the head of his church family. To compare Jesus and husbands culturally in the First Century is no problem, but to make a biblical commandment for 21st century husbands to be in authority over their wives promotes men to the god-head.
Traditionally interpreted, those words create a contradiction in what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 11:3, “Now I want you to realize the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God,” because Paul told the Ephesians that Christ is head of the church which is comprised of both men and women, whereas he told the Corinthians that Christ is the head of men only. But we know that Christ is the head of female Christians, too.
Jesus himself answers the question
The answer is found in the Gospels. Jesus affirmed that he was the head of women both before and after his death. He left women no room for doubt. Think back to Mary of Bethany who he allowed to sit at his feet and learn from the Master himself. Then remember the Gentile woman to whom Jesus revealed that he was to be the savior not only to the Jews, but to all people, which included her. Read again how Jesus revealed to the Samaritan woman that he was the Messiah. And finally, stand before the tomb where Jesus, in his resurrected body, made himself known to Mary before he told any man that he was alive. Jesus himself was telling women that he alone is their head, and there is no middle man between them.
These are powerful events that cannot be discounted. Jesus’ ascension into heaven did not change those truths. Women are as important to our Lord on this side of the cross as they were on the other side.
Headship has no place in the Gospels. Jesus said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be the first must be slave of all, for even the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:42b-45).
Jesus did not say that men were heads of their wives, and he did not indicate that men would be elevated to headship after his resurrection. Since Jesus did not bind women before his resurrection to their husbands, there is no reason to believe that Jesus would bind women to their husbands after his resurrection.
See Shirley Taylor in Baptizing Feminism Documentary Trailer.
Books by Shirley Taylor available in Print and Kindle on Amazon
The Biblical Marriage Myth: The Devil Comes Calling The Power of a Book: The Street Evangelist From Wife to Widow: What I know Now Beyond the Grave: A Christian Dilemma Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source Dethroning Male Headship: 2nd Edition
Male headship distorts marriage, misrepresents salvation for women, creates enmity between the genders, and divides the entire body of Christ.
Considering the answer Jesus gave to John and James when they asked for the privilege to sit at his right hand side when he came into his kingdom (Mark 10:38), it is highly doubtful that husbands can stand-in for Christ here on earth. But standing in for Christ is exactly what they would be doing if husbands were given the privilege by God to be heads over women. Christ does not share his headship with human males.
The scariest scriptures, Ephesians 5:22-24
Ephesians 5:22-24 is often quoted by those who teach that women must submit to their husbands.
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Those who quote Ephesians 5:22-24 do not adhere to it. The Danvers Statement Concern #8 is “The increasing prevalence and acceptance of hermeneutical oddities devised to reinterpret apparently plain meanings of Biblical Texts,” but even their writers back away from the plain meaning of this text.
The plain meaning of Ephesians 5:22-24 is:
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. The plain meaning would put husbands on equal footing with God.
The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. The plain meaning gives husbands salvation rights, judgment rights, forgiveness ability, healing ability, miracles, obedience authority, to accept worship, to answer prayers, and the right to receive tithes.
The husband is the savior of the wife just like Christ is the Savior of the church. The plain meaning makes husbands saviors of their wives. Why would the great I AM, share His salvation right with an earthly man?
The church submits to Christ. The plain meaning makes husbands worthy of having wives submit to them.
Wives should submit to their husbands in everything. The plain meaning makes man divine and infallible.
Does any Christian believe that men can save their wives, and that wives should submit to their husbands in absolutely everything? Ask your pastor about this and he will begin to qualify this statement. It is qualified when they say that women should not follow their husbands into sin. It is qualified when they say a wife should not endure physical abuse. It is qualified when they make old age or infirmity of a husband an exception to allow wives to make decisions for their aged or infirm husbands.
Anyone who reads Ephesians 5:23 and insists that this scripture means that the husband literally has spiritual or physical charge over his wife, has made a golden idol and named it husband. To read this scripture that way gives man divinity and nullifies the whole Bible that proclaims only “One” God.
The plain meaning of this scripture is scary, yet it is quoted so casually that we have accepted the part we want to hear “that wives should submit to their husbands,” and have ignored the significance of the remaining part of that sentence.
See Shirley Taylor in Baptizing Feminism Documentary Trailer.
Books by Shirley Taylor available in Print and Kindle on Amazon
The Biblical Marriage Myth: The Devil Comes Calling The Power of a Book: The Street Evangelist From Wife to Widow: What I know Now Beyond the Grave: A Christian Dilemma Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source Dethroning Male Headship: 2nd Edition
We come to the table for women’s equality from all parts of the globe, from all backgrounds, and with different preconceived theology. To help us understand who we are and what we bring to the table, work out these questions in your mind. Certainly there are right and wrong conceptions, but I doubt that a roomful of theologians would agree on all points.
How do you view God?
What is the basis for your faith?
Why do you choose to worship God?
What do you expect of God for yourself?
What do you expect of God for others? Why would it be, or why is it, different from what you expect for yourself?
How does a just God relate to his human creation?
How does a just God relate to his male creation?
How does a just God relate to his female creation? If God relates differently to his female creation than He does to His male creation, why is that?
What justification would God give for making His female creation submissive to males? (Knowing that God does not have to justify anything to us).
What would better benefit the Kingdom of God – male domination with female submission or male and female equality? Why?
Why would God choose to love all mankind in the first place?
Why would God choose to love me? Why would God choose to love you?
Does that look different because you are male? Does it look different if you are female?
Is God male? Is God female? Both?
How do you view God? Has it changed as you thought through these questions?
Did Jesus change God, or does Jesus reflect God?
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. (Luke 13:34).
See Shirley Taylor in Baptizing Feminism Documentary Trailer.
Books by Shirley Taylor available in Print and Kindle on Amazon
The Biblical Marriage Myth: The Devil Comes Calling The Power of a Book: The Street Evangelist From Wife to Widow: What I know Now Beyond the Grave: A Christian Dilemma Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source Dethroning Male Headship: 2nd Edition
Until recently I had no idea why many Baptists and other fundamental Christians believe that husbands will account for their wives before God. Of course there is no scripture to back it up, and nothing by Jesus suggests such a responsibility or honor to be given to husbands.
It was a 16 year old boy who was challenging me in a Hispanic Baptist church when I had the aha moment “That is where they are getting it!”
Let’s see what the scripture actually says and you determine if men will give account before God for their wives.
God said “Adam, where are you?” Silence from Adam as he and Eve hunker down beneath a fig tree. Finally Adam says, “I heard you but I was afraid and I was naked. The woman you put here with me, she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Try to find where Adam, from the time he was formed, demonstrated any spiritual responsibility. Eve did, though. She admitted to God, “The serpent deceived me and I ate.” Repentance. She did not blame Adam for not showing spiritual responsibility. She did not say that his loving, humble headship did not rise to the occasion.
Because Eve was a strong woman, one who shouldered the responsibility and repented of the sin, the church has used this against her ever since. Eve took charge. That is the distortion they are talking about. Men are to model themselves after Adam who ratted out his wife, hid with her, and acted like she was something that God had foisted upon him.
They want us to believe that Eve’s sin inclines women to resist being limited in their “roles.” They are worried that women might want to use their spiritual gifts of leadership in preaching and pastoring. Their attitude is a bunch of hogwash that diminishes both men and women. This teaching diminishes men by not holding them accountable for their actions (like Adam’s), and diminishes women by telling them that they cannot stand up and give spiritual leadership (like Eve did).*
God did call Adam to account – for himself. Just as he called Eve to account for herself. “But the Lord God called out to the man, “Where are you?”” (Gen 3:8 in which Adam threw Eve under the bus) – and then God turns to Eve, “The Lord God asked the woman, “Why did you do this?”
See, I told you it wasn’t there. God did not call Adam to account for his wife, only to account for himself. Just as we today will have to account for ourselves.
If you are tired of being told that your husband has to account to God for you, then join me in speaking up.
*from my book “Dethroning Male Headship”
See Shirley Taylor in Baptizing Feminism Documentary Trailer.
Books by Shirley Taylor available in Print and Kindle on Amazon
The Biblical Marriage Myth: The Devil Comes Calling The Power of a Book: The Street Evangelist From Wife to Widow: What I know Now Beyond the Grave: A Christian Dilemma Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source Dethroning Male Headship: 2nd Edition
Planning to attend a funeral at a local Southern Baptist church, I visited their facebook page and clicked on the pastor’s sermon. In the first 30 seconds of his sermon, he said, “The Husband has authority in the home. God has placed the Husband as head of the household.” Then he proceeded to preach on Jesus’ authority. Right off the bat, Husband’s authority came before Jesus’ authority.
That pastor is a pulpit bully, and I fear that his attitude is encouraged by SBC leadership.
Considering the answer Jesus gave to John and James when they asked for the privilege to sit at his right hand side when he came into his kingdom (Mark 10:38), it is highly doubtful that husbands can stand-in for Christ here on earth. But standing in for Christ is exactly what they would be doing if husbands were given the privilege by God to be heads over women. Christ does not share his headship with human males. Why would he?
The story varies as do most of our own stories, and depends upon who is doing the telling.
Matthew 20:23 says that the mother of James and John asked for special favor to be given to her boys, while Mark 10:35 does not mention mom at all. Whatever the case, James and John wanted special treatment. They wanted to sit at the right hand of Jesus, and had the nerve to ask him for this. As you can imagine, the other ten disciples were put out with their request, because they, too, had left their families and spent nights on the road with Jesus.
Amidst this disturbance, Jesus called a board meeting. “Look fellows, you don’t qualify for this position you are asking for.” I imagine there was some elbow nudging and nodding of heads among the disciples. Jesus looked over the twelve standing there and said, “You know that some people want to lord it over everybody else, but you are my disciples and you are not supposed to be that way. Ever who wants to be the greatest, should be the servant, and who wants to be first, should be servant to all.”
Now they had a decision to make. James and John had just embarrassed themselves with their grandiose expectations and the rest of them knew it. They now had two choices: 1) They could pick up their marbles and go somewhere else to play; or 2) they could stay with the rest of the Disciples and continue on with the Master and the work laid out before them.
Setting the example for us, they stayed with the rest of the Disciples. (Mark 10:35-45).
SBC Pastors, other pastors, and Seminary Professors have chosen to pick up their marbles and go their own way, declaring they are equal to sit at the right hand of Jesus, but that WOMEN are not.
Christianity should be about love, so it is hard to justify pulpit bullying of women. Don’t you agree?
See Shirley Taylor in Baptizing Feminism Documentary Trailer.
Books by Shirley Taylor available in Print and Kindle on Amazon
The Biblical Marriage Myth: The Devil Comes Calling The Power of a Book: The Street Evangelist From Wife to Widow: What I know Now Beyond the Grave: A Christian Dilemma Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source Dethroning Male Headship: 2nd Edition
It was destined to be an extraordinary day at the temple. Peter had just healed an adult man who was crippled from the time he was a child. And now he and John were telling people about Jesus and his resurrection. The people assembled there were listening because of what they had seen.
Guards always get suspicious when a group of people are intently listening to one person speak, so they slipped closer to hear what was being said, and then reported back to their captain. As you can guess, the captain of the guards did not like what they were saying so he came over to have a little chat with them. They not only chatted, but the guard took them and put them in prison overnight.
“By what power are you doing these things?” they asked Peter and John the next day.
Peter looked them in the eye and said that it was by the power of Jesus Christ, whom they had killed, but who had been resurrected, and now they were able to do this good deed in his name (Acts 3, 4:1-18).
Uh oh.
If these unschooled and untrained men were able to do this, then what else could they do? After all, these men had been with Jesus.
So they talked, and they talked some more, and came up with the only thing they could think of: “in order that it may not be spread any further among the people, let us warn them to speak no more to any man in this name.”
Peter and John said, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge.”
Like Peter and John, we cannot stop speaking what we have seen and heard.
We are empowered by the same Source. Like Peter, we, too, have walked with Jesus. Peter and John could not quit telling about Jesus. They were told to stop, but they could not, because they were just getting started. We who believe in equality, cannot quit now as the battle is not yet won for women’s equality. We, too, have been with Jesus. Saved by the blood of the lamb and a witness to what he has done through his Word, and to how he has spoken to us.
Will you join me and speak up for equality for Christian women? We cannot stop speaking and telling others that Christian women can be elders, deacons, and pastors of churches, serving as God calls them. We are ready for the new song.
Women are told they are equal-but they have different functions. That theology is not found in the bible, but it determines the roles women are allowed in the church, and even extends inside their own homes. We know women have different functions, but whether or not they lift the toilet ring is not a spiritual function, and should not be the criteria for leadership roles.
The church, which should have been the first to recognize women’s equality, has proven to be the last holdout against women.
Women are beginning to question this theology. It is time we called pastors and seminary professors to account for their teaching. Christian women also need to account for neglecting their responsibility to themselves, and to their daughters, and to other women. Women need to get off their equal-buts and speak up and do something. Men need to take their place alongside women, not in front of women.
Books by Shirley Taylor available in Print and Kindle on Amazon
The Biblical Marriage Myth: The Devil Comes Calling The Power of a Book: The Street Evangelist From Wife to Widow: What I know Now Beyond the Grave: A Christian Dilemma Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source Dethroning Male Headship: 2nd Edition
A young mother took her family to the Houston Live Stock show where the family was showing a calf to be judged. She had a young son who she took with her. She put a leash on the little kid and tied it to a stall and the child could run around and sit down and play – all within the length of the leash. Several people stopped by and told her that what she was doing to that child was wrong. Children don’t belong tied to a leash. The event manager even stopped by to ‘have a talk’ with her. She told him that the little boy was perfectly all right. He couldn’t get too far away, or too close to the animals, and he was perfectly content to play where she had put him.
He was unaware that this leash was holding him down because he could not be trusted as to how far he could go, or where he could go.
Are you perfectly content with the leash around your neck? You can’t get too far away. You can’t get too close to the animals. You are safe. Nobody has to worry about you because you have a rope tying you down. You can go as far as you want to – until you run out of rope!